I'm proud to be in the not-so-silent minority when it comes to social media. Fun fact about K8? She hates social media...with a passion. Why? Pull up a chair.
Before I start my seemingly unending rant on the revolting erosion of humanity that social media has unleashed on our already fragile society, let me go ahead and concede the positive impact it has had.
Connectedness. People are able to easily stay connected to those that live far away or rarely see for one reason or another. It provides a platform to share pictures and life events with ease - alleviating the need to send 20 different emails or (God-forbid) a large group text message. People have also been able to locate lost loved ones/pets, network for career opportunities, and cast a wider fundraising net.
There are undoubtedly positive aspects to this technology, but much like any medication that promises to cure what ails you - there is always a cost with laundry list of side effects.
Personally, I don't feel like it ever helped me feel connected. In fact, all I saw was a pervasive illusion of self-importance that carried with it an undertow of divisiveness. Are we honestly any more "connected" than we were before? I don't believe so. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. Let me briefly divert this to a comparable concept...
People used to talk on the phone before, remember that? Why do you think that is rare these days? Let me guess, you're about to spew rehearsed responses such as:
"I'm too busy for calls" -- no you're not. People are no busier now then they were previously when calling was the "way of the world"...there is now just an alternate option which puts the choice in your hands and you CHOOSE not to converse live. You know why most people shy away from this? Because you can't fake a phone call (at least not easily). Texting gives you the ability to think (and re-think) your words before they are received. I would argue that on a phone call, people are more "true to themselves" as they don't have time to construct an alternate (perhaps more appealing) way to be perceived. By texting, we can be wittier and wiser simply by just having the time to rehearse our words.
"Texting is more convenient" -- Is it really? Think about it. How long does it take you to have a full conversation between you and another person? After you take into account the time it takes to go back and forth and folding in the instances where someone gets side-tracked with another text message interjecting or some other distraction that takes them away from the focus of your typed conversation - it can be hours...or days! With a couple of exceptions notwithstanding, I usually have a threshold floating in the back of my mind that if we go back-and-forth "X" number of times, I'm just going to call them, because this can easily be settled with a 5 min phone call. Work smart, not hard, right?
The reality is that text messaging has just given us the ability to better "control" the interactions that we have and "control" the way our communications are received, better than before. The control is an illusion and the result is a fraudulent version of ourselves.
Now, let's circle back to social media and apply the same principle - it works the same way. We are not "too busy" to interact personally and it's really not "more convenient" - we just find the social media option more appealing because it allows us to paint a picture for others that we want them to see, a picture we'd rather see.
All social media has really done is made it
possible to broadcast our lives to a wider audience in hope of locating
validation in one form or another. For example, the picture I posted of myself
is not really beautiful unless I see that others have stamped it with their
"emojis of approval" - which we subconsciously hope reaches a certain
threshold...where it is "liked" enough to remain posted as a beacon
of perceived reality. This is a lie. And people eat it for breakfast. It
distorts reality so much so that we find ourselves wrapped up in the comparison
of these false realities...we compare ourselves to the point where we lose
happiness in our real lives. I can think of nothing more tragic than an
individual feeling less than simply because of the skillful representation of
others being more than. We all would appear "more than" if we
displayed ourselves and our lives through the lens of a flattering
filter.
Many reasons drove my decision to "delete my accounts", my top 5 being:
1. I hate fake. I'm into the real deal. I accept
people's flaws and see them as their uniqueness, that wonderful thing that
differentiates them from another. Individuality is beautiful. Seeing people how
they truly are (good and bad) is the only way to truly know someone.
2. I prefer sincerity. A natural side effect of
being absent from social media is being out of sight, out of mind. Since I am
not broadcasting my life, I am not "on the radar", so to speak, so I
hear from people less. This can feel isolating at times, but I find solace in
knowing that when I do hear from someone it is because they thought of me,
unprompted. It means their reason for contact was genuine and I love that.
3. I am sincere. My previous point also works in
reverse. I don't have social media to prompt me nor am I fed reminders of
birthdays. I reach out to people to wish them a Happy Birthday on my own
accord. I reach out to people when they cross my mind because I feel those
moments happen for a reason...and I believe in the importance of acting on it.
I like to think that those in my life see that and appreciate it, as I'm sure
it's rare.
4. There's too much negativity being spread on
platforms on Facebook. Everyone posts their opinions and then there is always someone
eager to contradict it - neither tends to be respectful or kind. People have
come to value their own opinions so strongly, that they have forgotten that
they are in fact, opinions. Opinions can be, and should be, changed when
appropriate, but people seem to have difficulty admitting fault these
days...such dangerous behavior.
5. Social media is a lucrative, (and in my opinion unethical) business. The apps are free, the access is free, and the content is free...why? Because in exchange for this service being free, people are offering up their personal data to be ingested, analyzed, packaged, and sold for profit. There is a saying: "If you aren't paying for the product, you ARE the product." Why is that a problem? Your data is an extension of your privacy and by willingly giving that a way you are essentially giving unrestricted access to yourself. For example, you might find it convenient (or uncanny) that mountain bike ads start showing up on your feed after doing some light research on mountain bikes the day before making it easier to buy the mountain bike you were interested in. This makes mountain bike companies happy because they can reach a potential consumer that they otherwise would never have known existed. And you? You get a mountain bike - yay! What about the other side to that coin? After weeks/months/years of aggregating your trends, opinions, and other key data points, your world becomes smaller. When you type in Google "Why is..." you start to get different suggested endings that differ from someone else typing in that same information. They have determined "who you are" and therefore have altered your access to what is believed to be "in your best interest". This is dangerous because this type of filtering is exactly what alters reality...just like filters on a photo. They make you see what they want you to see.
Okay so when I say "they" I don't want
you to get all clammed up thinking I'm a tin-foil-hat-wearing conspiracy
theorist. I'm not. I say "they" as a generalized term to mean that
"they" are whoever is ingesting and utilizing the data, which is
presumably anyone who pays for it. This is a real thing and is a well-known
fact. People pay to have access to personal data for marketing purposes as well
as targeting purposes. To me, it is a slippery slope and I try to do what I can
to avoid contributing to it. This is the world we live in now where technology
reigns supreme. The revolutionist in me wants to stage a coup...
Who's with me?
K8
